12 November 2009

Be right or be free

"Would you rather be right or free?"   ~ Byron Katie ~ 

my babies about 4 years ago 

Freedom equals happiness, which equals true living.  Living, here on earth, now, at this time.  Isn't that all that matters?  How come we spend so much time in conflict, arguing, trying to get our point across...wanting to prove a point? Wanting to be right?   Being self-righteous?  Standing firmly on a position........... for what reason?  Taking away from the main goal of life -- to share love, have a good experience, appreciate all that is good.

Yesterday was Veterans Day and my heart goes out to all the brave souls that have voluntarily sacrificed their lives so that we can live in peace.  Despite all those brave souls out there, many of us do not live in peace, right here, in our homes, in our relationships, in our families.   Lives are in a constant state of mutiny and unrest.  Many consciously choose this state of conflict, sadness, discontent, meanness, harboring thoughts of judgment, hatred, and ill-wishes, never stopping to realize that they are exchanging the GIFT of LIFE that they have, for a world of darkness, all for the sake of "proving a point," or "making a statement."   Ultimately, who is the point for and who benefits from the statement?  No one.

While doing some work in my house yesterevening, the tv was on, and the sitcom, "My Wife and Kids" was on at the time.  The husband had agreed to take his wife golfing with him because she really wanted to spend some "quality" time with him.  Well, she had no clue how to "behave" during his golf outing, but she innocently chose to be herself which translated into her being a "nuisance" to her husband during what was to be a very "relaxing ,therapeutic but serious" day of golfing for him.   At that moment, all he had to do was HONESTLY explain to her how he felt so that they could get passed this and continue to be a happy loving couple, but instead he chose to "GET HER BACK,"  -- teach her a lesson, by intentionally messing up her yoga class that he agreed to attend with her the day after the golf outing.

Why?  Why do we play these childish, foolish games with one another?   You can imagine the outcome.  He did manage to annoy her during the yoga class just as much, if not more than she had (innocently) annoyed him during his golf outing.   BUT.........conflict arose out of his need to punish her/pay her back. Unnecessary conflict.

Don't discount this example just because it is from a comedy sitcom tv show -- it's a great example (one example) of real stuff that happens everyday in the lives of regular human beings.   We REFUSE to handle our daily conflicts at the moment with INTELLIGENCE and TRUTH, and we resort to  playing games, becoming vindictive, distorting reality and hurting one another, which often times snowballs and spins a small problem way out of control. 

The wife indeed, ended up angry and emphatically trying to make her husband understand that she truly ENJOYED herself being with him when he played GOLF.  She immediately scolded him that he was WRONG to attempt to "teach her a lesson."   This is true.  She is his soulmate, his partner, his wife, and so why would he choose to treat her this way?  It's disrespectful and deceitful.  He then admitted that he was wrong to "pay her back" but also truthfully explained to her that he appreciated his time alone to play golf.  He finally explained to her that she had annoyed him a LOT during the golf outing.   

We can be truthful with each other without being hurtful.  We can come to an understanding and still be loving in the process.   This is true FREEDOM and why we have a life in the first place.    Allowing yourself the ability to be truly LOVING to those your care about.   Not playing games. Not trying to hurt one another.  Not trying to TEACH LESSONS that cause lifetime conflicts. 

Some of us are fueled by friends or family to go ahead, "teach the lesson."  Some gang up together and say they will make the statement together, "let's all show her/him how we feel."   (Sounds like a war right?) Taking sides against someone.   Who benefits from this?  It's like a gang.   May the strongest win.   May the weak crumble.  At the end of one's life, who comes out the winner?   Too proud to be the bigger person to say, this is not right.  No, I don't agree with your actions.  "WE" can't benefit from this. 

So many people are immersed in "standing for something" that they miss out completely on what life is truly about.   You can't be a true human being if you lack compassion and lack the ability to love.    

Love is NOT about being vengeful, it's about finding a LOVING solution so that we can all live and appreciate the LIFE we have together.  Gosh, there's a thought.  The world is indeed made up of MANY human beings, and we need each other.   


Live it well.

Live it with love in your heart! 

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