30 November 2009

Feeling safe and respected

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.   I am thankful for the ability to be able to live healthy, and to be able to love and learn more and more everyday, you just have to have an open mind to realize you need to keep growing, and the WILL to become a better person -- there is always room for GROWTH.  So many of us hold onto to old-fashioned ideas about life and it stagnates our growth as human beings. I am especially thankful for the ability to have two beautiful children that I can help along to become wonderful human beings! 

This life is so amazing because we have in our grasp the resources to learn how to be better human beings everyday.   It's so easy to get caught up in the world at large thinking that working and money is all there is, but there is so much more to life than that. 

I have read some great books recently that truly resonate this thought and puts me at ease that we will be ok.   Many of us wonder if we are ok, we question life, or we just don't live it to the best of our ability -- we take it for granted.  Some of us believe that because we give to charities every year, we are ok.  Some of us believe that because we go to church every week, we are ok.  Some of us believe that because we pay our bills, we are ok.   All of that certainly does lend itself to part of the picture of being a worth while human being, but it does not complete all the necessary ways we can be "whole" human beings. 

The truth is, your "heart" has to be in it.  Even books about how to do "business" speaks about the need for being personable and caring with your clients.  We need to do this with clients, friends and family.   In anything you do, whether it be for yourself or someone else, the best way to reap rewards is to know that your heart is aligned with your focus and your efforts. 

How do we become better human beings??   By encouraging one another to properly use our strengths.  Many of us have lived and worked in various places that have encouraged us to be self-indulgent, outshine the rest, may the best man win type "individuals."   What does this cause?   It causes a huge sense of division amongst people who SHOULD be working together.  

TEAM -- Together Everyone Achieves More.   Together we get more acomplished.  Together the task can be accomplished in a much more efficient manner.  One man can not do it all by himself.

We need to create an environment, at home or at work, where people feel SAFE and RESPECTED.  We need to encourage each other to do our best.  We need to help when we see someone struggling.  When someone starts to feel inadequate, reassure them that they can do it!  Give them that sense of security that they can succeed. 

Just when you think the world is a cold, callous, uncaring arena, you can truly step out and find that there are a lot of people that don't share that mindset.   There are a lot of people who remember that the world is made up of HUMAN BEINGS, and you have a purpose on this earth beyond worldly goods and possessions to love, respect and support one another.   By yourself, you can not feel safe -- you can't feel anything quite frankly.   Sure you can show off what you have, but who do you have that will truly care and make you feel loved and grateful? 

I am so thankful that I can pass this wonderful lesson onto my children, and perhaps it will save them from some heartache and disappointment as they get older.   They can learn from now to only stay where they can feel safe, respected, uplifted and supported. 

12 November 2009

Be right or be free

"Would you rather be right or free?"   ~ Byron Katie ~ 

my babies about 4 years ago 

Freedom equals happiness, which equals true living.  Living, here on earth, now, at this time.  Isn't that all that matters?  How come we spend so much time in conflict, arguing, trying to get our point across...wanting to prove a point? Wanting to be right?   Being self-righteous?  Standing firmly on a position........... for what reason?  Taking away from the main goal of life -- to share love, have a good experience, appreciate all that is good.

Yesterday was Veterans Day and my heart goes out to all the brave souls that have voluntarily sacrificed their lives so that we can live in peace.  Despite all those brave souls out there, many of us do not live in peace, right here, in our homes, in our relationships, in our families.   Lives are in a constant state of mutiny and unrest.  Many consciously choose this state of conflict, sadness, discontent, meanness, harboring thoughts of judgment, hatred, and ill-wishes, never stopping to realize that they are exchanging the GIFT of LIFE that they have, for a world of darkness, all for the sake of "proving a point," or "making a statement."   Ultimately, who is the point for and who benefits from the statement?  No one.

While doing some work in my house yesterevening, the tv was on, and the sitcom, "My Wife and Kids" was on at the time.  The husband had agreed to take his wife golfing with him because she really wanted to spend some "quality" time with him.  Well, she had no clue how to "behave" during his golf outing, but she innocently chose to be herself which translated into her being a "nuisance" to her husband during what was to be a very "relaxing ,therapeutic but serious" day of golfing for him.   At that moment, all he had to do was HONESTLY explain to her how he felt so that they could get passed this and continue to be a happy loving couple, but instead he chose to "GET HER BACK,"  -- teach her a lesson, by intentionally messing up her yoga class that he agreed to attend with her the day after the golf outing.

Why?  Why do we play these childish, foolish games with one another?   You can imagine the outcome.  He did manage to annoy her during the yoga class just as much, if not more than she had (innocently) annoyed him during his golf outing.   BUT.........conflict arose out of his need to punish her/pay her back. Unnecessary conflict.

Don't discount this example just because it is from a comedy sitcom tv show -- it's a great example (one example) of real stuff that happens everyday in the lives of regular human beings.   We REFUSE to handle our daily conflicts at the moment with INTELLIGENCE and TRUTH, and we resort to  playing games, becoming vindictive, distorting reality and hurting one another, which often times snowballs and spins a small problem way out of control. 

The wife indeed, ended up angry and emphatically trying to make her husband understand that she truly ENJOYED herself being with him when he played GOLF.  She immediately scolded him that he was WRONG to attempt to "teach her a lesson."   This is true.  She is his soulmate, his partner, his wife, and so why would he choose to treat her this way?  It's disrespectful and deceitful.  He then admitted that he was wrong to "pay her back" but also truthfully explained to her that he appreciated his time alone to play golf.  He finally explained to her that she had annoyed him a LOT during the golf outing.   

We can be truthful with each other without being hurtful.  We can come to an understanding and still be loving in the process.   This is true FREEDOM and why we have a life in the first place.    Allowing yourself the ability to be truly LOVING to those your care about.   Not playing games. Not trying to hurt one another.  Not trying to TEACH LESSONS that cause lifetime conflicts. 

Some of us are fueled by friends or family to go ahead, "teach the lesson."  Some gang up together and say they will make the statement together, "let's all show her/him how we feel."   (Sounds like a war right?) Taking sides against someone.   Who benefits from this?  It's like a gang.   May the strongest win.   May the weak crumble.  At the end of one's life, who comes out the winner?   Too proud to be the bigger person to say, this is not right.  No, I don't agree with your actions.  "WE" can't benefit from this. 

So many people are immersed in "standing for something" that they miss out completely on what life is truly about.   You can't be a true human being if you lack compassion and lack the ability to love.    

Love is NOT about being vengeful, it's about finding a LOVING solution so that we can all live and appreciate the LIFE we have together.  Gosh, there's a thought.  The world is indeed made up of MANY human beings, and we need each other.   


Live it well.

Live it with love in your heart! 

11 November 2009

Swaying buds

One week since my last blog, oh my!  And why? Because there has been much happening on the homefront, so much so that I truly could not get here to share as I would like.  Between massive amounts of leaves in the yard, soccer, school projects, homework, laundry, work-work, work, and some work, it's been a little busy around here!

I wanted to share about a recent accomplishment, one that I believe will continue to show improvements over the next months and years.  Remember my "picky" eating 7 year old daughter?  Well she has ventured out of her comfort zone a little more in the past couple days, and this I see she does with a look of "I will try my best Mommy" look on her face.

Peace people, I will eat when I am ready... chill ......

For the longest while I worried that I would never be able to get her to eat certain things, and it baffled me that she refused to eat certain things that other children (particularly her own brother) seemingly enjoy.    

A few weeks ago, I made kale, tomato and onion omelette, and I was not sure if I was able to truly believe that she enjoyed it even though she did eat the entire thing with absolutely no hesitation.  I had been down this road before with her where I thought she was "sold" on something only to find out the next time I tried to serve the same something, that she suddenly reverted back to her original "don't like it" position.   I tread lightly and cautiously.

To this day I can't understand what it is about ground meat that my precious princess does not like.  She refuses to eat any dish that is produced from ground meat, turkey, beef or otherwise, and that includes sausage as well.   I never really worried about it because I figured we can live just fine without sausage, bolognese, meatballs, burgers, meatloaf, meat lasagna --- sure, we can do without all of those lovely, delicious "when made at home with love" -- they are awesome dishes!

No way!  Again, I figured I would just go slowly and keep revisiting the idea with her until I could sway her to "try again."

A couple nights ago, I/we (Miles and I)  literally BEGGED her to let me cook something other than chicken and she agreed to a Turkey Burger.  I was pleasantly surprised when I watched her take her first bite and her eyes lit up.  

I will take these 2 accomplishments and feel proud of my sweet angel for having an open mind to try again.  This in itself is truly fantastic, the fact that her mind is OPEN to at least try.

Parents out there, it's time to stop saying your child "does not eat....." and try again and again, especially if it is something that is good for their health, such as fruits and vegetables.  We must do this for our children.   Most of the time, their dislike is based on one bad experience or perhaps a not-so-ideal preparation of "said" food, so one should definitely explore new ways to present the food(s) to make it pleasing to the children.

Maturing gracefully 

04 November 2009

Give them a sense of pride

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be 

-The Greatest Love of ALL, George Benson/Whitney Houston

To make it easier.   Our children are our responsibility considering we brought them into the world.  We are their heroes and they are our FUTURE heroes.

If we want to make the world a better place, it starts at home, helping our children to become human beings who take pride in themselves and love themselves.  When you can love yourself, you can then love others.   When you possess a great deal of self-esteem, you are then able to love and respect others.

At the beginning of the school session back in September 2009, my 10 year old son was voicing a lot of discontent about starting the 5th grade, so much so that he managed to exhibit this "attitude" towards his 3 different teachers.  Two out of the three teachers did notice that he had a lot of manners and a loving "way" about him, but the 3rd teacher was only interested in his "academic" abilities, and she could careless about whether or not he said, "Good Morning" with a bright sunshiny smile each and every day.

As a parent, I had mixed emotions, happy that my child remembered about the importance of proper manners, but not happy that my son was wasting so much energy "worrying" about the challenges of 5th grade.   5th grade in his school is the year to get a true sense of independence as they inherit lockers, change classrooms about 4 times a day, and become loaded up with school work.

On Back-to-School night, this "math" teacher made it clear that she thought my son was "struggling" to understand and was "overwhelmed", and at that very MOMENT, "I" made it clear that she will "struggle" to use those words to describe my son ever again.

From that night on, I made it my priority to help him in every which way possible to make this year a GREAT year for him (as he has always had great school years).

Yesterday afternoon I met with this "math" teacher and she had a great big SMILE on her face because she sat and said to me, "Well it seemed that he was overwhelmed in the beginning, but now I see he has improved incredibly," and then she continued to rattle off the list of his many test grades, 100, 100, 100, 95, 88, 100... he did have a 76 and a 56 in there, but those were momentary setbacks.    She agreed that it is CLEAR that he is showing great strength, understanding, and still maintaining he wonderful "jovial" well-mannered spirit. 

Giving my son a sense of pride and something to strive for is important to ME and to HIM.   He is now a very happy child and a child that knows he can perform wonderfully.  He is no longer "worried" about being in 5th grade and knows that his parents believe in him.   We MUST enforce that we BELIEVE in our children.

It is our job as parents to step in at the very INSTANT that our children are struggling and help them along.  Give them love, support, encouragement .... and extra love, support and encouragement.

03 November 2009

The eyes have it... seeing into the future

I have blogged in the past about the fact that my beautiful (very healthy and strong) 10 year old son developed Uveitis in June 2008, and it's been a on-going situation.   His eyes are clear (have been for a few months now) because he gets a weekly injection of Methotrexate which is keeping his body calm (suppressing his immune system) so that all stays well.  We will not know the TRUE situation until at least June of 2010 when his rheumatologist will access if it is ok to take him off this medication.

I am blogging about this again today as we prepare for next week's visit with the rheumatologist.   Last week he saw his Ophthalmologist and all was good, however I will always take it upon myself to re-research Uveitis which is a RARE, serious medical vision condition that only afflicts a couple thousand children per year in the United States.  You can go from one school to another and NOT find ONE child with the condition, that is how rare it is.   Given it's rarity, you have to be certain that your child is being tended to by doctors who are familiar with the condition and know how to treat it.  Uveitis accounts for 10% of the cases of BLINDNESS in this country.  That is a signficant number and not to be ignored.  It needs to be treated CORRECTLY.

One of the contributing factors to blindness is neglect.   Often times people hear about it and don't take it seriously.  The treatment routine is one that must be addressed aggressively and diligently in order for it to be successful.  It's a frustrating routine, but one that must be adhered to.

I make it my duty to keep up with all the news and I belong to a few support groups (and I keep in touch with the Uveitis Foundation) to see if there are any new discoveries towards helping to treat the condition.  This is what EVERYONE should do when they are afflicted with ANY illness (even little ones like the flu, diabetes, etc.   Never take anything for granted.

As I blog about this, I know NO ONE out there who reads this blog will even feel connected to this illness because of it's rarity.  My goal is not to find a connection to the illness, but to ENCOURAGE any and everyone who has a child with an illness to make it your priority to research the condition and find out all that you can do.  Doctors can do but so much, but you can lend some aid to your child in the process too.  I don't want any surprises in the future (since it is a mysterious condition that can go on for a lifetime) and I want to BELIEVE that I took all the steps to learn as much as I can about the condition. 

It can get very expensive between doctor visits, medications, and foods/supplements, but diet is KEY in many cases, especially with Uveitis which is an inflammation issue.  What occurs is a build up of cells in my son's eyes (because the immune system thinks something is wrong -- why?? - we are still trying to learn why??? )  and so we need to TRY to keep the inflammation from happening, which the aggressive steriod eye drops addresses, but the METHOTREXATE ultimately addresses with the immune system.  As you can see -- it's MASK, a BANDAID and not a CURE.   NOT a CURE.


Foods, supplements and stress relieving exercises.   Helping your child to ease their STRESS is very important.   Children suffer with stress just like adults do, and there have been many cases where STRESS triggered a condition.

We continue to monitor him and check for Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, which is very typical for kids with Uveitis.  I BELIEVE that my efforts to help my son stay well do HELP immensely.   I also make sure that he gets exercise.  Consider if I did not monitor his diet and he did not exercise --- we could possibly have MORE issues to deal with (bad nutrition, weight gain.... stress). 

Good health is not just about saying, "I am totally healthy and there is nothing wrong with me,"  it's also about MANAGING a pre-existing condition to the BEST of your ability.   I will never ever forget the fact that the rheumatologist told us that many times in cases of Children with Uveitis, the parents have been negligent in caring for their child.   I suppose it may seem easy to overlook it and think all is ok because your child "LOOKS" ok, but what about what is going on inside those eyes??????   Seeing is TRULY believing!!!!!  I know I owe it to my son to stay on top of the care of his VISION so that he can SEE into his FUTURE

Be proactive no matter what is going on!

02 November 2009

Honey, I am not in the mood...

Come on baby light my fire!  Moods have the ability to do this--- light one's fire, or extinguish one's fire! Can it be that a "MOOD" or moods really have the ability to dictate how your day/life will go?  You get up and you quickly try to ascertain, "am I in a good mood today?"  Or some people say, "I don't know what it is, but I am in a great mood today!"

Moods are often the same as "feelings" and people allow how they "feel" to dictate their mood.   They need to be separated.  It's very ok to feel sad, or happy, or overly emotional at some given time, but it does not have to affect your overall mood if you have already lined up your goals in life.   Your goals should not be affected by your feelings.  This is tough to do since as human beings we want love, attention, to be acknowledged -- to be validated, and to have time to even feel bad.  But many times we give fuel our MOODS a bit too much! 

Intimacy in relationships dwindle because people are apt to say, "I am just not in the mood."   Relationship experts often encourage couples to "schedule" some time together so that you can rekindle the romance.   The blocks in the mind have to be broken down before the scheduling can even take place.   If you are reluctantly scheduling this much needed time together, even when the moment presents itself,  how can it be enjoyable for anyone if you are continuing to resent the process and embrace your "bad" mood?

We need to take our moods in hand and replace them with INTENT, and this is relative to any aspect of our being.   Make an intent to live life differently.   If you can see the NEED for doing certain things, you can probably enjoy more great MOODS.

All of this came to mind the other morning when I was hesitating to do my workout (oh yeah, here she goes again talking about working out) and I thought about MOODS.   I was NOT in the mood to jump up and down and sweat.   I suddenly thought deeply about my so-called MOOD.   My MOOD was governed by MY thoughts.   I let the LAZY, "don't want to be bothered" thoughts get into my head.   When I acknowledged that my "mood" was unfounded, I quickly shook it off, and remembered that my LIFE'S GOAL is to ALWAYS take care of ME!  Nothing will get in the way of that, as long as I can truly control it. 

In order to get what we want out of life, we have to put the EFFORT in, and much of the time, it is our minds that are holding us back, and not some random mood that gets it's energy from our thoughts.   The key to MASTERING these moods, is to HANDLE and be in CONTROL of your thoughts.

Keep only the thoughts about WHY it is good for you to make the STEPS towards certain goals.  WHY am I doing this?  How will it benefit me?   And perhaps, how will it benefit someone else?   Even in that relationship, this is key.  If the relationship is meaningful to you, you will realize that you have to SNAP out of the MOOD that has you refusing to be that extra loving, giving, doing person, and bring out the good mood that will benefit your relationship.    

A good mood is not just about smiling and doing, it's about feeling:

Optimistic, positive, able, strong, purposeful, joy, signficance, brave, proud, elegant, accomplished, needed.... the list is endless.

In between experiencing real-life "moody moments," we have to remember what the BIG PICTURE is... and that is to have a LIFE of PURPOSE and WELLNESS!

01 November 2009

Falling leaves

Hide the path so quietly ~ John Bailey "Autumn" , a haiku, 2001

And they hide my house and yard so loudly!!! Wow!! Sunday, all day, blowing leaves! Wow!
I believe I get the most leaves and the most snow in my neighborhood .... LOL!
Posted by Picasa

More Halloween Moments

Posted by Picasa

Halloween moments from the parade

Posted by Picasa