10 August 2009

No more guilt trips!

Who started this "guilt trip" excursion?? Personally, I think it's a waste of time, unwarranted anxiety and money! Don't buy into it any more! Get your money back, get your self-esteem back!

It always goes back to how we value our thoughts. If you put your beliefs in something that someone says, without merit, then you will surely struggle with your life. Guilt uses up so much time, energy and causes so much conflict within a person. We must be very careful about what we choose to feel guilty about. If you have done something wrong, it's best to just admit it, make amends, and surely not do it again. Don't burden yourself with the weight of unnecessary "guilt!"

Yesterday the children and I stopped by a farm market to pick up a couple things. Though the actual "store" was very small, the grounds of this farm was huge, lots of lovely stuff growing all around. We went to the store and then my son wanted to walk around a bit, and at first, I thought, ok, but then I realized that there really was no one around to guide us, and so I said to my son, "let's not because I am not sure we are allowed to." He then said to me, "Mommy, we can just sneak and look around." At that point I said to him, "no we don't sneak because this is not our property and that may be considered trespassing. We can sneak and do things in our home if it's all in fun, otherwise, we don't do those things." I wanted him to understand that our actions should be just and right, because when they are not, that is when we find ourselves in trouble and then with regrets. That's the key, to know what your actions will be so that you have no regrets...... no guilt!!!

When it comes to the issue of health, fitness and wellness, we must learn to exercise less guilt with certain things. If you put too much pressure on yourself to do what seems to be the impossible, then you may resort to this "guilt" practice, which is not a good idea. It's the set up for failure, over and over. It leads you to thinking you can't believe in yourself, and it's so very WRONG!

I often hear people who are on a wellness journey use words like, "I cheated yesterday," or "I was bad." Those words, "cheat" and "bad" have negative connotations that imply that the person just about committed a crime. These types of classifications do not promote a healthy positive journey and in fact they, by themselves, cause the "setback" in the person's own mind. From there, a self-attack, self-degradation unfolds, and causes this conflict.

How to avoid this? First of all, be true to yourself, and who you are. If you were a person who enjoyed certain foods and you are making a huge effort to turn your habits in a new direction, be realistic, and make your changes gradually. Find ways to make adjustments that you know you can embrace. Find sources, or people who have great ideas for making modifications to your "old ways," so that you don't lose your mind.

Allow yourself moments of "treats." If it's a food treat, include it in your program. If it's "workout breaks," incorporate it in your schedule, or plan for certain days to not be as intense as others.

Notice as well, when and why you tend to have these fleeting moments (the triggers) of wanting to turn off your wellness path. Are they happening during "stressful" periods? Do they happen every time you come home from work? Do they happen whenever you interact with certain people in your life?

The object of the game is to figure out a new strategy for dealing with the triggers that cause you to turn off your path. The object of the game is to empower yourself where all your thoughts can produce a positive outcome that will keep you calm, smiling, and proud of yourself. The object of the game is to AVOID guilt trips completely and know that YOU are in total control of your life, and outside factors have no control over you. No one can tell you that you are bad, no one can sabotage your program, no one can affect you negatively. Add in your "fun", or "treats," and embrace them for the moments that you have them.

Trips, journeys, excursions, etc., should be enjoyable ---- Being well does not mean you have to give up enjoying your life, and as a matter of fact, being well would have you enjoying life even more!

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