Speaking from the perspective of people in families, or friendships -- sometimes people are together, hearing and seeing the same thing at an instance in their life, but each person's perception of that moment is interpreted in a different way. We learn a lot about perception from the classroom as children and then we learn that we are all entitled to our own opinion. It's very refreshing when a teacher comforts a child and teaches them that "there are no wrong answers," and as we grow up, we are able to find certain careers in life that enable us to still exercise such a belief.
Many people, however, have their lives turned upside down when people step in and viciously misinterpret what they are doing or how they are living in a negative manner. We are quite a judgmental society of people. The media does this everyday. The very people who report the news, who perhaps have their "own stories to tell," ravage the lives of others based on snap shots of moments in people's lives. Thereafter they may dig up stories and try to put together a collage of mini-stories to reinforce their findings about the people they have already exposed. In a way, you can almost understand their motivation -- it's their job and they aim to do it effectively. How about the times when years later, they come back and suddenly there is a part of the story that was never told, but it's too late because they have already sabotaged a person's life??
What about when we do it as friends or family? What about when we choose to avoid the true facts and circumstances and instantly jump to utter scathing remarks and venomous lies about a family member or a so-called friend. What is the goal at hand? It can be amazing that grown adults can sometimes behave just like high school children when they go on a campaign to smear a person or their life simply because of their judgmental beliefs?
I have had many conversations with people about this very topic. Sibling rivalry is an amazingly common place occurrence in many families. Sometimes it can be traced back to childhood, where tension existed or a state of discomfort between two siblings and over time, over years, it escalates to a level of sheer intolerance between one another. Families have grown apart or disconnected over these happenings.
And the same can be said for many long term friendships, for example, like those of people who perhaps grew up together, or went to elementary or high school together. Much of the time, people hold onto friendships feeling it's the right thing to do and really avoiding the fact that over time, people can grow apart or simply change. Why force the friendship if tension abounds the relationship?
Do you ever witness a family or a friendship suddenly experience a huge blow up? A blow up so bad that all communication has been shutdown?? Do you believe it's just one little argument gone out of control? No it's not. It's truly due to the fact that the "issues" were there all along. The personalities were clashing for a long time. Sometimes because people are involuntarily thrown together, they feel trapped and feel compelled to try to get along, but all the while in their subconscious they are just waiting for that BIG day to come when they can let their true feelings out.
In such relationships, there is a lot of stubbornness. There is an unwillingness to listen and understand. There is huge apprehension for compassion. There is lots of judgment. There is lots of insecurity. There is a lack of self-love. There is a LOT of insecurity. There is a lot of resentment. There is a lot of pretense. There is very little or perhaps NO spirituality, no human capacity to love unconditionally. There is NO realness.
I think people have forgotten why they are living beings on the face of the earth, who were given one life to live. I love that expression, "don't take yourself so seriously." True, we are currently in a terrible economic state, but it was caused by a tremendous amount of factors, corruption, failed management, etc. There is a lot of uncertainty about what will happen, however, you can be certain about the person you choose to be. You can certainly choose to say, "I want to be a human being."
If we sat around all day just pointing the finger and looking for all the people to put the blame on, we would get nothing accomplished. That is what we call, focusing on the problem.
How many people sit and think and worry about their issues??? Sit and worry about the fight you had with your family or a friend? Sit and focus on all the words that went back and forth?
Where does it get you?
It gets you to time wasted. You continuously give that situation LIFE while all else in you DIES. You keep it alive, festering and growing, and what good does it do you? Some people have been forced to believe that due to all the turmoil, mistakes, and bad occurrences in their life, that they MUST live a life of regret. Live each day mourning, feeling inept, feeling sorry.....
The reality of life is you have only ONE life to live here on earth. Issues come at us in different ways. Continuing to live life is the goal. You should choose how to make it a great one. You should choose who you want to spend it with so that you can feel great, joy, passionate about living, and sharing that great spirit with others.
Should you be sitting around fighting, feeling angry, pointing blame, criticizing, casting vicious words endlessly around for people to hear??? Your goal in life is to HURT people? And how fulfilling is your life when you do that?
There are truly people in this world who have a big heart. Some people have a big heart and big wallets, and they give big on both levels. Some people can only give from their wallets because it's difficult for them to give otherwise. Well, being judgmental does none of us any good. If you don't like someone or something, just don't be a part of it.
Reality is ... human beings should behave as human beings. A family should be family. Friends should be friends. If it can't be, perhaps you just move on because you should not be wasting your life being NEGATIVE, and mean to one another. There should be love, respect, support, motivation, uplifting, joy........
If you have anyone in your life who is constantly trying to drag you down, control you, give you ultimatums about how to live, criticizing the true good that you do .... perhaps you need to revisit the value of that relationship. The reality is, you have the right to make choices that will allow you to live your best life! Sometimes others don't have the capacity to be human and for those souls, you just have to hope that one day they get it!